개미도시ㅣ공간에디터's post

Another Me Inside Me (Baejangi) Inside me, there is a me like my mom, resembling an ant, and a me like my dad, resembling a grasshopper. Perhaps because the ant-like me has so much screen time these days, the grasshopper is showing signs of dissatisfaction little by little. Ever since I realized that the blood of the ‘grasshopper’—who resembled my dad, the one I hated and detested so much as a child, the one filled with dancing, singing, and self-love—flows within me... I used to be wary of him, keep him in check, regard him as an axis of evil, and bind him with the word ‘absolutely’ to prevent him from ever appearing in my life. For decades like that, the grasshopper would occasionally show himself only when the ant’s deviation was permitted, and even then, only by borrowing the power of alcohol. But lately, he lurks around quite slyly and frequently. As if he is watching for an opportunity. Since the Ant's stake is still larger, I am issuing a yellow card (abstinence from alcohol) to the Grasshopper, telling him to restrain himself a little. Strangely enough, however, this situation makes both the Ant and the Grasshopper feel a bit disappointed. Perhaps it is because they are both ‘me.’ The Ant needs rest, and the Grasshopper needs work. We always have to make choices and take responsibility for them, which is why life is sometimes overwhelming. Looking back at the self I had briefly lost sight of while adapting to a new environment... Today, I called the Grasshopper out for a moment with two cans of beer. And I tell him: Let's meet again next time as a better version of myself (a new, more refined version of myself). That for now, I want to be an Ant a little more. I feel like that's how it should be... I wonder why, tonight, I understand my father who went to heaven before me, whom I used to hate so much... Is it because I'm getting old? Or have I finally come to know myself a little bit? . . . #TheAntAndTheGrasshopper #AntLikeMom #GrasshopperLikeDad #MidlifeSickness #Mom'sDiary #AntCity #AntCityLife #AntCityStyle #CornSoupRecord #Life #HouseholdLife