개미도시ㅣ공간에디터's post

[Parents' Day] What a Maximalist Mom Left Behind for Her Daughter Who Dreams of Being a Minimalist Maximalist. A word that somehow feels like the weight of life. I wanted to live lightly—body, mind, and life—like a minimalist. Perhaps, from the moment I was conceived in my mother's womb, I may have been the weight of life she had to carry for the rest of her life. Now that I have children in their 20s, and looking back at my mother's and my own 20s now that I am in my 50s, I find myself constantly asking myself these days, "Could I have navigated through it like Mom did...?" As someone working a shift schedule, I arrived at work a bit late. Because of the deadlines I had to handle, I woke up after sleeping for about six hours—which is a bit too ambiguous to call a "sleepover"—unlike usual, and tinkered with some housework. With the dream of looking a bit more like a career woman at work—the foundation of my life—I try to pay attention to my makeup after showering. But you know those days. Days when you clearly did everything exactly the same, yet nothing goes the way you want. Today was exactly one of those days. I kept glancing at the clock to check the bus schedule and checking my appearance in the mirror, yet I kept thinking, "Did I miss any housework?" "Is my slacking making things harder for Mom?" As I pondered these thoughts, I only became more anxious, and in the end, I ended up rushing around even more. I took a deep breath and stepped out the front door, but it wasn't until I arrived at the bus stop that I realized I had left my glasses behind, leading me to run back home... Hahaha Sigh... Until not long ago, I never imagined myself like this. Because I have been learning by observing the world, pushing and controlling myself to stay disciplined and not let my guard down—wanting to live like someone else— In the past, when someone said, "Is it because I'm getting old? I keep forgetting things..." I used to think to myself, "Really? Isn't that just an excuse?" However, in just a few years, the situation has completely reversed. Now, I find myself facing and living out the very sides of myself that I thought I would never act that way. That is why I realize it even more. That life has no right answer, and nothing can be guaranteed. Late in the evening after work, I fell asleep with a hearty meal of Samgyetang (chicken soup) lovingly prepared by my mother—who was concerned about the health of her middle-aged daughter, who was trying her best to maintain her weight after her diet. Perhaps because I was so full, I tossed and turned all night until dawn. Now, as I finally open my laptop to write this, it is May 8th, Parents' Day. The image of my mother, which I, a maximalist daughter, have belatedly seen—a body full thanks to her—is that she has become thinner and has more wrinkles. However, because she endured through countless crises and difficulties without giving up, she has become the person I respect, am grateful to, and love the most in the world. In the past, there was a time when my life's goal was, "I won't live like Mom." Back then, my mother’s life seemed shabby and insignificant to me. However, now that I have reached middle age and have weathered some of life’s challenges, I find myself looking at her sleeping mother with eyes of respect, thinking, "If only I could live just like Mom did..." The desire to give her children everything she never had or could never do herself. The many household items in our home seem to show that sentiment on her behalf. Three or four bottles of soy sauce, two or three bottles of sugar, three sacks of 20kg rice... hahaha. Thanks to the years she spent enduring hunger and living by the motto, "I can’t survive without the power of rice," my mother is still going the extra mile today to shop for groceries, always striving to fill the stomachs of her children and grandchildren to the maximum. My mom, who cannot rest for even a moment despite being at an age where she should be resting comfortably, worries about her middle-aged daughter and tries to lighten my burdens—no, actually, she lightens them by a great deal—but she is still busy. Thanks to Mom, I was born into this world, I was able to weather the storms of life, and as I walk in her footsteps, I, too, want to be remembered by my children as someone they are not ashamed of, even if I cannot be quite like her. I respect you, Mom. Thank you. I love you. And I also want to convey this to all parents in the world. I think I am only now beginning to realize that you have lived your lives doing your absolute best in your respective places, doing as much as you could and as much as you had learned. Taking advantage of Parents' Day, I would like to say to myself and to others: “You have worked so hard.” “You have lived well.” “Let’s continue to live our lives even better together.” I want to say that. And I am also trying to love myself a little more. Because I am learning, little by little, that I must be able to love myself in order to love my family more warmly. ^^: . . . #ParentsDay #ThoughtsOfMom #LikeMom #WhyIBecameAMasimalist #CornSoupRecord #HouseholdLife #WorkingMomDailyLife #RecordOfMiddleAge #TodaysMe #TodaysOurHome #LifeOrganization